...And Life Continues

I am sitting and looking towards the 365 days ahead of me. I really do not know if it would be a complete 365 but I am hoping that God in his goodness would spare my life. It is a miracle that I am alive, hale and hearty and I am most grateful to God for all his mercies.

Looking backward at 2010, there is a lot I have to be thankful for and I am sure that you must be thankful for something. I am immensely thankful for life, family and friends for they gave me strength and love. I am grateful for successes and promotions, these gave me something to climb on and work harder. The failures and setbacks made me stronger and tasked my faith. Now that I look back, I see that I had so much to be grateful for and I humbly ask my Creator to forgive me for all the times I complained, pulled myself down, allowed people to pull me down or pulled others down and I am counting on his abundant grace to double my blessings in this new year.

When I think about the New Year, I really do not know what to expect for Nigeria. I can only hope that the power situation would improve, the roads would be better, the hospitals would be well equipped especially to handle emergencies, and the list goes on and on. Most importantly, I earnestly pray that the elections would be peaceful and selfless leaders would be elected. I am old enough to know that there is gap between hoping and achieving so I pray to God almighty to help each Nigerian make good decisions concerning our future. I am praying to the excellent King to make our votes count during the election. I ask that we get strength to withstand opposition and pull them down. I am praying that the elected leaders would excel in their good works of justice and equity. They will rule with justice and grace.

It would be foolhardy to think that difficult times will not come, but I am praying that God will give each and every Nigerian the strength to fight for unity,truth and peace. I say that we should look to the future, not with uncertainty but with boldness because we are not on our own. I place Nigeria in the hands of the Creator of the Universe to help us.

For myself, I ask for wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Most importantly, I ask for a grateful, selfless heart that will help me to reach out and touch others.
I wish you all a great year that is as fruitful as the trees in the Garden of Eden and peaceful as the pleasant white dove. Shalom!

Inordinate Ethnic Loyalty

It is not uncommon to find someone refer to a member of his village, town or state as ‘my brother’. In fact, most people would applaud his efforts to stay connected to his roots and call him ‘son of the soil’ especially in our modern day society that jumps at every effort to adopt any western culture possible. It feels very good to be able to put your ‘brothers’ first before considering others. When a newly engaged-to-be married person tells of his/her new status, we all jump for joy and start with the following questions ‘so, where is he from? What does he do?’ and if per chance the spouse to be happens not to be from the person’s tribe, some people would exclaim ‘are you serious? And your parents had no objections?’ While growing up, I heard mothers tell their daughters ‘don’t bring a Yoruba man to my house’ or ‘find someone from your own tribe, i will not be in your house when the husband’s people will maltreat you.’ These daughters grow up conditioning their minds to the fact that an Ibo man, or Hausa Mallam is not good for them because of the differences in ethnic values or just because their mothers or fathers said so and if fate plays a good number and they marry from their tribe, they in turn tell their own daughters ‘please dear, Kwara people are very fetish, choose wisely.’

While some children who are well informed and exposed to different culture soon realise that there isn’t much difference between us all, the segregation follows others through generations. Not just in marriage, but in work places, political settings and even religion.
The question is ‘how then do we fight ethnic crisis when down at the roots we place ourselves higher or in more favourable positions than others?’ When are we going to learn from the people of Rwanda that these inordinate ethnic loyalties can lead to full blown massacres and unspoken evils?

Recently, I took my first trip to the eastern part of Nigeria. From the beginning of the journey, I studied the people with whom I was travelling. Apart from the fact that they all spoke Igbo and I appeared deaf and scared, they displayed the same gentility, haughtiness, loquaciousness and introversion that i would see in people of my tribe. All their actions and temperaments were defined by who they were as individuals, values they learnt from their upbringing and not what tribe they came from. I spent a short time with a wonderful Ibo family and did not for once fear for anything. An Ibo woman I spoke to on the bus called me at every point to ensure I had reached my destinations safely and she very well knew I was not from her tribe or even a nearby tribe.

Our dear Nigeria is at a critical stage and in desperate need of competent men and women irrespective of tribe or state from any part of Nigeria who are ready to push unto victory. We need to have leaders we can trust who will lead with fairness and justice in managing the affairs of the country. It is time for us to be more conscious of our thoughts and actions. We need to stop making comments like ‘if you see an Mbaise man and a snake coming towards you, make sure you kill the Mbaise man first before killing the snake.’ We must be willing to trust one another to maximize brotherhood and interdependence with each other.

I am a Nigerian and want to be identified as such irrespective of the tribe I come from. I want to be able to live freely in any state of this country and not be ruffled by thoughts of ethnic crisis and religious wars and I hope that you do too.

Addicted!!!

I find my self always glued to the Stephanie Meyer’s Vampire novel series: twilight, new moon, eclipse and breaking dawn. I read the books over and over again sucking pleasure out of the words on the pages. As if I would find something new. I am thrilled by the way Edward and Bella are drawn to each other. I wonder if love can exist that way, totally open, trusting and overwhelming. Their kisses are like a ritual consisting of sucking out souls and replacing them with each others breath as if saying to each other ‘your life is mine and mine is yours’. It shows a deeper display of love that is rarely seen in reality.

Edward described Bella as his own personal brand of heroine. I ask myself every time I read them if I would ever find myself addicted to anything or anyone so much that I could put my life at stake. Perhaps I would get to that point someday, perhaps not. In the same way I cannot but wonder how people can be so attached to their country that they would die for it. I look at my country on the map of the world and I have a natural desire to smile every I see it. It seems to me that it’s the shapeliest outline in the entire map, even better than that of Africa. Perhaps I think it is so out of bias for my country. I look at the people in the map and I cannot say I do not love them. Every time stones are cast at my people, my country, I feel a sharp pain in my heart and emotions run like a tap of cold water gushing on an unsuspecting puppy. Yet still, I cannot say that I would be ready to die for my country if the need arises. I wish though that I could be ready to do so for the sake of my children yet to come and my children’s children. I say this because unless we start to die for dearly beloved country, nothing will get better. It seems to me that she seeks blood to cry ‘Enough! Enough!’ before anything changes, before anything can get better. She needs her children to be drawn to her like Edward is to Bella. She needs you and me to kiss her with soulful breaths so she can live again. She needs us to treat her with care and respect putting her first in everything so that she does not fade away into non-existence. She needs us to free her from the evil hands of fake lovers sucking the life out of her in the name of service to her people.
I wish I could see ahead like Alice, the pretty petite vampire with spiky hair. I would stop from my chattering to say ‘The wind of change is coming.’ And smile with relief.
This I know: Soon! The wind will change for better or for worse. Those who can love till death should better brace their hearts and pour out all their love on their beloved country whilst they can maybe their actions will bring healing to the land.

GHOST OF VALENTINE PRESENT

I looked into my wardrobe this morning and I made a few notes. There are things that should be in there staring at me in the face, making me grin like the cat that got the cream or the mouse that ate the chef’s Caciocavallo cheese. And there are things that are in there that should be replaced like my little black dress that I have worn so often that I could easily be described as ‘the pretty lady that often wears the short black sleeveless dress that hugs her bum nicely and has one big black button that rests a little above her right chest.’ etcetera. After my wardrobe scrutiny, I went on to my dressing table and I was not pleased at what I saw. My bottle of cherished perfume, the one that makes me feel like a well looked-upon Mona Lisa, just lies on the dresser almost empty. I sighed and glanced at my shoe rack. Let me not divulge the state of my shoes. The only words that come to mind about my shoes are ‘yuck! Yuck! Yuck!’ A good red would brighten up that department though.

I ask myself, what can I do to change my situation? I experience neglect all of a sudden. Can’t I have someone to pamper me more than the usual? A real McCoy to make me feel like the queen of Sheba. My cousin calls me just at that time ‘Hey Coz, what is happening this valentine’s day?’

Yes! Valentine’s day! In time past, I would have made sure that I was in the good books of many to ensure that my gifts show up as scheduled but these days I keep my head straight. As I sit I remember my chocolate days and I ask myself ‘were they trying to make me fat and insecure so that they can move on to other girls?’ A ridiculous thought because chocolates make excellent valentine gifts albeit every lady wants something they can hold on to and not something that would end up in the famous pathway for human waste – the toilet bowl. Of course dark chocolates are great for the heart, so the doctors say but give me a bottle of scented water or alcohol and I would remember you for as long as I smell great and even beyond because I would forever remember that I had once used that particular fragrance.

I look forward to an upgrade when I would receive gifts of immeasurable wealth. Gifts that would make eyeballs come out of their sockets, turn enemies army green with envy and make friends utter words such as ‘you know, what is mine is yours, what is yours is mine.’ Sigh! Dreams do come true and as the saying goes ‘anything can happen if you just believe.’ Laugh! Enough day dreaming!

Of all the gifts one can receive on Valentine’s day, the one most valuable, most cherished and priceless is the gift of the three letter words, I- love- you, whispered to you from the lips of the one who makes your heart go ‘gbingbin.’ The magic words would do for you what a Stuart Weitzman’s strappy sandals cannot do although some would disagree with me.

Chocolate or perfume, dress or shoe, I am content to say that I love. I love without the trappings of worldly goods; although I want them so. I love those in my care and those who care for me. I love my family and friends and all those who make my heart flip just by hearing their voices and I say to all ‘I wish you a happy day of love and friendship and goodwill.’ I hope that we all get what we are looking for this Valentine’s Day and give to those who hope for something for there is great joy in giving.
Happy Valentine’s Day.