When I was young (I still am by the way), there were lots of jokes flying around. Every kid knew how to crack one. I would hear my brothers crack jokes and I’ll cram them repeating it to myself in other not to forget. When it was play time at school the next day, I would crack the jokes and make my friends laugh. There were different kinds of jokes moving around back then. Some were related to the physique of people, some the mother tongue and others were country related. I remember one that goes thus:
There were three men in an airplane. One was an American; the second was Japanese and the last, a Nigerian. The American wanted to know when the airplane reached America so he brought out his hands and felt the snow. ‘Yes’ he said ‘this is America’ and he notified the pilot who let him alight. The Japanese put his hand out of the window and his hi-tech wrist watch exclaimed ‘This is Japan.’ When it was the turn of the Nigerian, he didn’t know what exactly to do because the weather varied across states and there were no development of hi-tech wristwatches. So he pondered until he got an idea, he put on his wristwatch and put his hand out the window. Within twenty seconds the wrist watch was snatched off his wrist and he exclaimed, ‘pilot, this is Nigeria.’
It was so funny back then. We would laugh and roll on the floor. There were many more like it over the years. As I grew I moved on to more productive jokes. All the jokes about Nigeria being the centre of robbery, indiscipline and stupidity wore out like tired expressions. Some were still hilarious but trite nonetheless.
Recently, I was watching a favourite program, Saturday Night Live, and the guest artist was Anne Hathaway. She started by telling us a joke of how she broke off with her Italian boyfriend who was some days later arrested for fraud. After a while she met this Nigerian prince on the internet who made her happy. She shared things about herself with him including her social security number. She also sent him a CD plus a hundred Dollar bill as a birthday gift.
The audience in the show laughed. It seemed funny to them but I couldn’t laugh. It was more of a reality check for me. She said that about my people. I was upset at first, almost attempting to dislike her but then I thought ‘I don’t blame her, that’s what some Nigerians do.’ They have tarnished our image at home and abroad and the poor, unproductive and crippled system that we have has not made enough effort to revive it. We have become the butt of many jokes. Nobody likes to be made fun off except in situations when it is a matter so trivial and there is nothing that can be done about it. As a kid it was cruel, as an adult it is childish. But when you give people reason to make fun of you then I think they are justified.
I look forward to the day when Nigerians would be respected, when we can hold our heads high at home and abroad. When different people from different walks of life would see a Nigerian and say ‘you are a Nigerian? Wow, that’s great.’ Personally I look forward to hearing jokes like this:
There were three men in an airplane. One was a Nigerian, the second, Japanese and the third an American. The Nigerian wanted to know when the airplane reached Nigeria so he brought out his made-in-Nigeria Mobile phone that displayed the coordinates to indicate that they were flying over Nigeria. ‘Yes’ he said ‘Pilot, this is Nigeria.’ The Japanese put his hands out the window and his hi-tech wrist watch announced ‘this is Japan’. When it was the turn of the American, he brought out his terrorist-detecting device which was made in china that said ‘你说阿富汗?’
‘That must mean America.’ he said and alighted only to find out that he was in Afghanistan. The pilot had already flown away and young able-bodied men with turbans on their heads surrounded him shouted ‘Allahu arkbar.’
(The joke is not exactly funny but it just gave me an opportunity to get back at Anne Hathaway in my mind. Bear in mind that I love her dearly.)
