CHANGE HAS COME!!!

My Fellow Nigerians, TODAY we shall cast our votes for the man who we think is the most acceptable of the lot. A lot of messages and emails have circulated like wild fire casting doubts in our minds about each of the 'most likely to win' candidates. We have deliberated on who will be the candidate that would, like in the cartoon Superted, sprinkle some cosmic dust and bring Nigeria back to ‘life’. Would it be the General, the lecturer or the policeman?

Most Nigerians are tired of the ‘one-party’ system we have had and hope that perhaps someone from another party will bring the change we so desperately desire. I have this to say: Change has already come. Nigerians have woken up from their slumber, perhaps still drowsy but eyes have been opened. We are holding on to our rights and casting our votes. Of course there is the doubt that creeps into our minds that our votes would not count but people are rising up against all odds to cast their votes. If you don’t call it change, give it a name then.

Change for us will be gradual. We may not succeed in changing the system this time around but we have started changing ourselves. The saying that change must first come from within before it spreads is quite true. We are gradually dropping our laidback attitude. Everyone is talking, arguing, fighting about who should be voted for but most importantly we are making choices. The days when we would just fold our hands and say ‘shout from morning till night, the leaders will embezzle and there is nothing we can do about it’ is receding to the past gradually. Change does not necessarily have to begin from the top, it can start with us and so it has.

When we finally get a president (i am beginning to think that a lecturer, general or policeman would not matter because the people are getting stronger but prove me wrong) from this credible election (hopefully credible),we will not just sit back and let him do as he pleases. We will speak out more through every channel we have and demand that we are treated right. My great Nigerians, change has comes to us, albeit slowly, but it surely is here.

Poker Face!

‘Extra! Extra! Elections are coming!’ I hear a newspaper man singing in my imagination ‘Our fates would be decided soon! Read all about it!’ Different people have asked me over a period of time who I would vote for. ‘Buhari, Ribadu, or GEJ?’ they would ask and I just look blankly at them. The simple reason for my impassive stance is that I am very much dissatisfied with the state of things as many youths are. Notwithstanding we all still have to make a choice. Now, to make an informed choice, you have to know what your problem is or what you want and then list out all the options available to you (and not to America). You can then match your list of available options to your want list and see which of the options best meet your desires. This process reminds of a system a friend of mine proposed to me for choosing a husband. She asked me to list everything I want in husband from most crucial to the most trivial characteristic. The next step was to take my list to God in prayer and then compare with what I had available. It was an interesting exercise. So now I sit wondering what I really want in a leader. I am not thinking about whether I can manage what is available or whether I have no options really but about the true shepherd I want leading us in this country.

So, in my fantasy I am thinking that I want a leader who has a vision for Nigeria. Not Obasanjo’s vision or something that looks like an afterthought but his own well-thought out and pruned vision, a vision that we all can share as a people. I want a man who sees the blue prints and knows every blue line in the white background because he penned it down. I want a man (or woman in the nearest future) whose mind is attuned to a life of service who will put the people first instead of spending most of his time lining his pockets with gold, gold that reeks of blood and sufferings of the people of the delta. I shall name him ‘Esperanza’ which means hope in Spanish.
Esperanza is a person of almost flawless character. His charisma puts the likes of Bill Clinton and Obama at the back of the class. He never shies away from Public debates and when he steps up to the podium to defend what he has to offer, he would make us weep with joy. Esperanza is courageous and would defend the truth at any cost. He has a penchant for being focused on things that make the country better instead of wasting time defending his position and crushing unwanted enemies. He understands the eccentricity of the Nigerian situation; he has a true grasp of what it takes to lead a country with over 150 million people with diverse cultures and religion and will treat all with equity and equality. He can adapt to situations, he is compassionate as well as tough in the battle. Esperanza would not succumb to the whims of god-fatherism nor run about lining the pockets of his aides and fellow comrades so that he can stay in power or so that his wrong-doings would not be exposed. He would certainly not publicly or privately praise evil doers or prison convicts and would not be seen as weak. He went to school to study the art of diplomacy and has respect for God.

Esperanza is the man who will choose his team wisely because of what they can offer the country and not because it’s a party code thing. That is the man that would make me smile every time his name is called because he knows how to ‘flip the lid’ of my country. Need I mention that integrity, hard work, wisdom are amongst his core values.

We have never experienced his rule before. If we had, we would have held on to him. Power failure, bad roads, poor educational system, corruption would have been a thing of the past, ‘Abi?’ I say to myself. We would have a productive workforce in a system where the environment is enabled. Young kids, when asked what good governance is, would say ‘What President Esperanza is doing is defined as good governance.’
Now that I have done this, I will compare with what is available and pick one. What more can I say? When the day of election comes, I will walk to the polling boot with my poker face, I will show neither exasperation nor frustration and I will ‘press my hand’. You can do the same if you so desire.

The Courage to Dare

Recently, I have found myself repeating words of the Serenity prayer over and over again. ‘Dear lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference.’ Do I dare to be courageous about anything? Am I prepared for the consequences that could arise as a result of my attempt to do things in the right way? Do I realise that in facing the consequences I would most likely be standing alone in my ‘truth’? Or would I cower with weakness at the first sight of unimagined catastrophe as a result of my ‘good action’?

Sometime ago, I sat among a gathering of friends to discuss making a change in our lives and in our dear country and these where the questions that hit me and it felt like a stray smelly paper flying about the street landing on my face. Did I hear you say ‘Ewww!’ I am trying to answer these questions now and so should you. Anyone who wishes to do what is right must have courage to dare and face the consequences. The process of change is almost never a sweet one. Its demands are great.

The recent registration of vote for the upcoming elections made me more retrospective about the topic. I was appalled to notice that some Nigerians were trying to bribe the police officers and the defence team to help them get ahead of the long queue in other to register on time. Granted that the process was tedious and time consuming, it was the first step in ensuring that we could ‘do a right’ by voting (whether our votes will count is a different matter). These officers were there to maintain order; it was easier controlling kids than controlling people eligible to vote. During the process of my registration, when I was almost at the ‘promise land’, a defence corp member brought someone and fixed her right in my front. This person was way bigger and mouthy and I feared what would happen if I challenged them but I remembered the saying ‘Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.’ So I stood my grounds and rejected vehemently the defence corp and his ‘evil’ plan. Amidst the fracas, I managed to stay in my rightful position and completed my registration. Once satisfied with my voter’s card, I looked at the defence corp member and said ‘I followed the due process.’ I left with a great feeling in my heart. But perhaps, it could have gone wrongly, the Defence team could have knocked me about and thrown me out of the line saying I was obstructing progress. The cheating person could have pushed me on the floor for daring to show the corruption that was taking root while we were registering to vote democratically in other to end corruption. It could all have ended badly and I would have faced some consequences for trying to oppose their wrong doing, but good Nigerians who were on the queue also supported the right thing.

I thought about the fact that we all have to display courage in every aspect of our lives, at work, home, church, streets, markets etc and we may not necessarily be vindicated. I thought about more grave instances where people have lost their lives for trying to demand justice and fairness, ending corruption and promoting goodness. I remember Tunisia and Egypt, their fights towards a better life. Victory will come when we step out in faith to defend a good cause.

We all want Nigeria to be a better place but what steps are we taking to achieve this. Are we going to keep talking about the right thing but never demanding and fighting for it? Are you going to stand in the market were you sell or the office were you work and demand progress, transparency and justice? My prayer is that we all have the courage to dare to do what is right at all times for the good of our souls and our world.

...And Life Continues

I am sitting and looking towards the 365 days ahead of me. I really do not know if it would be a complete 365 but I am hoping that God in his goodness would spare my life. It is a miracle that I am alive, hale and hearty and I am most grateful to God for all his mercies.

Looking backward at 2010, there is a lot I have to be thankful for and I am sure that you must be thankful for something. I am immensely thankful for life, family and friends for they gave me strength and love. I am grateful for successes and promotions, these gave me something to climb on and work harder. The failures and setbacks made me stronger and tasked my faith. Now that I look back, I see that I had so much to be grateful for and I humbly ask my Creator to forgive me for all the times I complained, pulled myself down, allowed people to pull me down or pulled others down and I am counting on his abundant grace to double my blessings in this new year.

When I think about the New Year, I really do not know what to expect for Nigeria. I can only hope that the power situation would improve, the roads would be better, the hospitals would be well equipped especially to handle emergencies, and the list goes on and on. Most importantly, I earnestly pray that the elections would be peaceful and selfless leaders would be elected. I am old enough to know that there is gap between hoping and achieving so I pray to God almighty to help each Nigerian make good decisions concerning our future. I am praying to the excellent King to make our votes count during the election. I ask that we get strength to withstand opposition and pull them down. I am praying that the elected leaders would excel in their good works of justice and equity. They will rule with justice and grace.

It would be foolhardy to think that difficult times will not come, but I am praying that God will give each and every Nigerian the strength to fight for unity,truth and peace. I say that we should look to the future, not with uncertainty but with boldness because we are not on our own. I place Nigeria in the hands of the Creator of the Universe to help us.

For myself, I ask for wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Most importantly, I ask for a grateful, selfless heart that will help me to reach out and touch others.
I wish you all a great year that is as fruitful as the trees in the Garden of Eden and peaceful as the pleasant white dove. Shalom!

Inordinate Ethnic Loyalty

It is not uncommon to find someone refer to a member of his village, town or state as ‘my brother’. In fact, most people would applaud his efforts to stay connected to his roots and call him ‘son of the soil’ especially in our modern day society that jumps at every effort to adopt any western culture possible. It feels very good to be able to put your ‘brothers’ first before considering others. When a newly engaged-to-be married person tells of his/her new status, we all jump for joy and start with the following questions ‘so, where is he from? What does he do?’ and if per chance the spouse to be happens not to be from the person’s tribe, some people would exclaim ‘are you serious? And your parents had no objections?’ While growing up, I heard mothers tell their daughters ‘don’t bring a Yoruba man to my house’ or ‘find someone from your own tribe, i will not be in your house when the husband’s people will maltreat you.’ These daughters grow up conditioning their minds to the fact that an Ibo man, or Hausa Mallam is not good for them because of the differences in ethnic values or just because their mothers or fathers said so and if fate plays a good number and they marry from their tribe, they in turn tell their own daughters ‘please dear, Kwara people are very fetish, choose wisely.’

While some children who are well informed and exposed to different culture soon realise that there isn’t much difference between us all, the segregation follows others through generations. Not just in marriage, but in work places, political settings and even religion.
The question is ‘how then do we fight ethnic crisis when down at the roots we place ourselves higher or in more favourable positions than others?’ When are we going to learn from the people of Rwanda that these inordinate ethnic loyalties can lead to full blown massacres and unspoken evils?

Recently, I took my first trip to the eastern part of Nigeria. From the beginning of the journey, I studied the people with whom I was travelling. Apart from the fact that they all spoke Igbo and I appeared deaf and scared, they displayed the same gentility, haughtiness, loquaciousness and introversion that i would see in people of my tribe. All their actions and temperaments were defined by who they were as individuals, values they learnt from their upbringing and not what tribe they came from. I spent a short time with a wonderful Ibo family and did not for once fear for anything. An Ibo woman I spoke to on the bus called me at every point to ensure I had reached my destinations safely and she very well knew I was not from her tribe or even a nearby tribe.

Our dear Nigeria is at a critical stage and in desperate need of competent men and women irrespective of tribe or state from any part of Nigeria who are ready to push unto victory. We need to have leaders we can trust who will lead with fairness and justice in managing the affairs of the country. It is time for us to be more conscious of our thoughts and actions. We need to stop making comments like ‘if you see an Mbaise man and a snake coming towards you, make sure you kill the Mbaise man first before killing the snake.’ We must be willing to trust one another to maximize brotherhood and interdependence with each other.

I am a Nigerian and want to be identified as such irrespective of the tribe I come from. I want to be able to live freely in any state of this country and not be ruffled by thoughts of ethnic crisis and religious wars and I hope that you do too.

Addicted!!!

I find my self always glued to the Stephanie Meyer’s Vampire novel series: twilight, new moon, eclipse and breaking dawn. I read the books over and over again sucking pleasure out of the words on the pages. As if I would find something new. I am thrilled by the way Edward and Bella are drawn to each other. I wonder if love can exist that way, totally open, trusting and overwhelming. Their kisses are like a ritual consisting of sucking out souls and replacing them with each others breath as if saying to each other ‘your life is mine and mine is yours’. It shows a deeper display of love that is rarely seen in reality.

Edward described Bella as his own personal brand of heroine. I ask myself every time I read them if I would ever find myself addicted to anything or anyone so much that I could put my life at stake. Perhaps I would get to that point someday, perhaps not. In the same way I cannot but wonder how people can be so attached to their country that they would die for it. I look at my country on the map of the world and I have a natural desire to smile every I see it. It seems to me that it’s the shapeliest outline in the entire map, even better than that of Africa. Perhaps I think it is so out of bias for my country. I look at the people in the map and I cannot say I do not love them. Every time stones are cast at my people, my country, I feel a sharp pain in my heart and emotions run like a tap of cold water gushing on an unsuspecting puppy. Yet still, I cannot say that I would be ready to die for my country if the need arises. I wish though that I could be ready to do so for the sake of my children yet to come and my children’s children. I say this because unless we start to die for dearly beloved country, nothing will get better. It seems to me that she seeks blood to cry ‘Enough! Enough!’ before anything changes, before anything can get better. She needs her children to be drawn to her like Edward is to Bella. She needs you and me to kiss her with soulful breaths so she can live again. She needs us to treat her with care and respect putting her first in everything so that she does not fade away into non-existence. She needs us to free her from the evil hands of fake lovers sucking the life out of her in the name of service to her people.
I wish I could see ahead like Alice, the pretty petite vampire with spiky hair. I would stop from my chattering to say ‘The wind of change is coming.’ And smile with relief.
This I know: Soon! The wind will change for better or for worse. Those who can love till death should better brace their hearts and pour out all their love on their beloved country whilst they can maybe their actions will bring healing to the land.

GHOST OF VALENTINE PRESENT

I looked into my wardrobe this morning and I made a few notes. There are things that should be in there staring at me in the face, making me grin like the cat that got the cream or the mouse that ate the chef’s Caciocavallo cheese. And there are things that are in there that should be replaced like my little black dress that I have worn so often that I could easily be described as ‘the pretty lady that often wears the short black sleeveless dress that hugs her bum nicely and has one big black button that rests a little above her right chest.’ etcetera. After my wardrobe scrutiny, I went on to my dressing table and I was not pleased at what I saw. My bottle of cherished perfume, the one that makes me feel like a well looked-upon Mona Lisa, just lies on the dresser almost empty. I sighed and glanced at my shoe rack. Let me not divulge the state of my shoes. The only words that come to mind about my shoes are ‘yuck! Yuck! Yuck!’ A good red would brighten up that department though.

I ask myself, what can I do to change my situation? I experience neglect all of a sudden. Can’t I have someone to pamper me more than the usual? A real McCoy to make me feel like the queen of Sheba. My cousin calls me just at that time ‘Hey Coz, what is happening this valentine’s day?’

Yes! Valentine’s day! In time past, I would have made sure that I was in the good books of many to ensure that my gifts show up as scheduled but these days I keep my head straight. As I sit I remember my chocolate days and I ask myself ‘were they trying to make me fat and insecure so that they can move on to other girls?’ A ridiculous thought because chocolates make excellent valentine gifts albeit every lady wants something they can hold on to and not something that would end up in the famous pathway for human waste – the toilet bowl. Of course dark chocolates are great for the heart, so the doctors say but give me a bottle of scented water or alcohol and I would remember you for as long as I smell great and even beyond because I would forever remember that I had once used that particular fragrance.

I look forward to an upgrade when I would receive gifts of immeasurable wealth. Gifts that would make eyeballs come out of their sockets, turn enemies army green with envy and make friends utter words such as ‘you know, what is mine is yours, what is yours is mine.’ Sigh! Dreams do come true and as the saying goes ‘anything can happen if you just believe.’ Laugh! Enough day dreaming!

Of all the gifts one can receive on Valentine’s day, the one most valuable, most cherished and priceless is the gift of the three letter words, I- love- you, whispered to you from the lips of the one who makes your heart go ‘gbingbin.’ The magic words would do for you what a Stuart Weitzman’s strappy sandals cannot do although some would disagree with me.

Chocolate or perfume, dress or shoe, I am content to say that I love. I love without the trappings of worldly goods; although I want them so. I love those in my care and those who care for me. I love my family and friends and all those who make my heart flip just by hearing their voices and I say to all ‘I wish you a happy day of love and friendship and goodwill.’ I hope that we all get what we are looking for this Valentine’s Day and give to those who hope for something for there is great joy in giving.
Happy Valentine’s Day.