MIND YOURSELF

                                                                                    

When a child reaches the age of seven, it is said that he/she has reached the age of reasoning; that is, he can decipher between right and wrong and consciously tow the narrow path of good or the wide path of evil. Some people have said that children of the information age come out of the womb with their eyes wide open and reach the age of reasoning before they are 5.  Whatever the facts maybe, children have open minds that suck in information like a sponge soaks up water. This makes them very prone to influences from the outside of them. I am not so much worried about the mental development of children though as I am becoming more concerned about the process of mind control of adults who have passed the age of the commencement of reasoning and who with all their education or lack of it have the mental, emotional and physical capacity to not only tow the path of evil but widen it.

The popular belief is that when you train a child in a certain way, the child will grow up to be a product of that training. A statistician will tell you that most human characteristics tend to follow a normal distribution however there will always be outliers.  There will always be the ones that are influenced by one significant person, thing or situation during a period (perhaps a vulnerable time in that person’s life) that changes the dynamics of how he/she thinks and then acts. Looking at the 2013 Woolwich attack, I get a replay in my head of Adebolajo saying to the world telling the British government to leave their lands and I am always like “shoor! Your lands?!”  Adebolajo is a 28 year old man who schooled in Britain, brought up as a Christian boy and radically became a Muslim.  Adebolajo is a British man of Nigerian descent. In between his British origin and Nigerian ‘lands’, I do not see how he had the temerity to fight for a land that is not his, a people that are only linked to him by religion and nothing else. Religion then seems to be his only driving force.

We all have a turning point in our lives when we significantly stand up to say we are for Jesus, Allah, self or nothing but at what angle in that turning point do we go beyond the call of reasoning? Many things about faith are beyond the call of reasoning and that is why it is called faith. Faith, whatever it maybe, should not diminish life but enhance it.

What is the process of radicalization? What qualities do these mind-controlling Clerics possess to indoctrinate people that the ordinary Imam does not have? Whose agenda are they executing by radicalizing youths to kill and destroy? I wonder if I am looking too far. I remember the case of reverend King who took religion to another level. This man had followers who were devoted to him and obeyed his every command. Look at our media, are they indoctrinating us with their own truths? What is the reality of our situation in Nigeria? Whose agenda are we operating on in Nigeria? Obasanjo? ‘the Cabal?’ the UK or US? Who are those behind Boko Haram and how are they getting young men to jump to the netherworld in the name of a religion?

 It is the psychology of all of this that I am most worried about. There is always so much information out there and not all of it is true. We should be worried about those who have discovered the power to make others see things that they want to see, do things that they want them to do and most importantly believe what they want them to believe.

There will always be outliers in every society and there will always be people who have agendas and find vulnerable people to perpetrate their evil. What you can do is to protect your mind. With a conscious effort to nurture your mind with the truth you condition your mind to be positively selective of what goes in. In the words of Mahatma Ghandi I say to myself “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet”.  James Allen in As a Man Thinketh, says to us “Cherish your visions. Cherish your Ideals. Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment, of these, if you but remain true to them your world will at last be built.

WHAT CLASS ARE YOU?

Over the last decade, I have heard people say over and over again that Nigerians do not read. Perhaps it is time to do another demographic survey since Nigerians have seemingly jumped from the agrarian age to the information age. Almost everyone has access to a phone – smart or not, a large population seems to have access to affordable internet services, and quite an armful (maybe harmful) have become activists by a click or touch of their very smart gadgets. With the technological transformation, Nigeria has a better rating on the map of the world, albeit looking at the scale from which it had fallen (giant of Africa) the improvement is inconsequential. 

There is a certain class of Nigerians who are educated and have a high level of ideation. These are the people who want to do something about the issues plaguing Nigeria. These seemingly very minority group always air their views about the problems Nigeria is facing and how incompetent the leaders of this country appear to be. One thing I hardly hear from them however is the ‘way forward’ or when they do proffer solutions they do it with the effortlessness of the commentator/spectator of a football match. It is quite easy to shout at a player from the sideline about the angle from which he should kick a ball. I remember the season of Occupy Nigeria. Some of the youths that participated in this understood the hardship that would face the Nigerian people if subsidy was removed but they also understood why the government wanted to remove the fuel subsidy. Perhaps if they were to run their own governments, they would probably remove the subsidy but of course make sure that there are safety nets to help those who would be most affected. There are not many of these people. Are they useful to the Nigerian Society? Well, they can be if only they channeled their gadget-driven activism to benefit everyone with consideration for the children yet to be born.

There is another class of Nigerians who are also educated yet their thinking is greatly affected by their culture, religion that is only skin deep, values that change with the weather and the degeneration in the society so much so that it would be hard for them to look back for a second to ask why the government wants to remove fuel subsidy.  Their focus is totally on the hardship they would feel as a result of the decision and that is all that matters to them.  They never think outside their world or their box. There are many youths in this category and you would find many of them taking the lead when there are situations. They would most likely hijack a situation and of course act with no strategy or with just one strategy – how to solve their own problem. As bloggers, this category is more likely to write articles that are so skewed yet the information they provide is out there for everyone to read and in many cases accepted as truth. They seem to forget that their desktop is not the only desktop in the world and some people might call them narrow-minded because they have come to realize that there will always be an another side to a story.

There is also a category of Nigerians who are not educated yet have access to information. I call them the foot soldiers or pawns because they do the fighting and destruction. Of course I do not need to buttress the ills of having access to information without education. It was sometime last year when a story went viral about a lady that turned to a snake in a hotel in one of the eastern states of Nigeria; some angry people went to the hotel with the intention of burning it down for whatever reason.  There are many in this category and would always be useful tools for politicians and likes in rigging, intimidation and destruction and as well as Boko Haram tactics.

Then there are the people who do not have access to information with no education. These are the people who genuinely suffer from the actions of all the other categories I mentioned above. They have no platform to make any meaningful contributions to their society and they get all their information from the third category.  

I created these categories to describe in a different way the young population which is more than one third of the entire Nigerian population so that we can imagine a country where the young population is educated and has a high level of ideation with access to information and a global network such that among them they have great thinkers and implementers who are defined by the right culture, values and religion. It is evident that education is very much vital to nation building and the over 56 million youths in Nigeria must be armed with the right tools for their development if not we would have a bigger problem on our hands than the ones we think we have. Like I said at the beginning, it is time for another demographic survey.

LIAR! LIAR! PANTS ON FIRE!

Some Men would argue that the average modern Woman is a liar. Why? Do I need to start? False hair, false lashes, face-changing make up, false finger nails, excellent wonder bras, 3-6 inches addition to height, packed love handles in some tight spandex that produces an hour glass shape to mention a few. And if you call all this lies, then well, Women are so used to living this way, it has become the truth for them. They call the hair extensions “my Peruvian hair” and use words like “my nails, my lashes” etc. Hardly would any Woman agree that they are indulging in a life of falsehood. I guess I can say the same for Lance Armstrong.

It was amazing how people particularly the global society turned down their noses at Armstrong last month. It is my perception that a large number of people expected him to breakdown and cry during his interview with Oprah Winfrey, beg for forgiveness and give them an opportunity to say “you deceived us for seven years straight and you are asking for forgiveness?” engaging the world in a drama of some sort. He probably knew from the start that forgiveness would not be in the offing once he is caught and so he did everything to protect his lie until it became the truth for him. You say his apology appeared calculated. Well, yeah, because if you have told everyone your name is Simon for about 7 years, you get to believe it yourself while the truth is really lodged in a compartment in your brain; a compartment you really don’t want to have access to. You would do anything to protect that lie including bully people who know about it. Unfortunately for Armstrong, his sport had to do with having team mates. If it was a solo show, he probably would have gotten away with it. Like he said, if he did not come back, he would not have been caught.

To ‘do a big lie’ – a giant one that is worth documenting, you must forget your conscience. Not just forget, kill it. This is not an advocacy for people to see Armstrong in a better light, his actions were ‘disgusting’ as one critic I watched on CNN said neither is it an analysis of the act of lying.

If you have ever lied and started off a chain of lies, I admonish you not to turn your nose down at Armstrong. Instead take a sniff at your own scent. I have encountered many who would claim they are one thing and at that moment contradict themselves with their actions. You would hear someone claim to be honest and yet dream about an opportunity to take part in the loot for Nigeria’s treasures. The same man can swear confidently to be a person of integrity. Lying is an act so crafty, sneaky, and sly [sic]. If you put lying into a culture, it would probably get another name like protecting family interest, or protecting ‘our own’.

My advice is not this “Lie and lie until the lie becomes your truth” but that eventually the truth prevails. It always does even if it happens AD as in the case of Jimmy Savile. It may not happen in the world’s view and under the same scrutiny as the cases of Jimmy Savile and Lance Armstrong, sometimes the truth comes as a reality check, karma, and even a spiritual encounter. It doesn’t matter what form the truth comes but it is certainly easier living in truth with yourself and the world (though it might be painful and involve sacrifice).

I see Lance Armstrong as someone who has a very strong personality and has learned to mask his emotions so perhaps he is just quivering on the inside or maybe not. While the dust has settled somewhat on his case, all Armstrong has to do is look at his children every day and he will wish he had done things differently.

GENESIS: LESSONS FROM THE CREATION STORY

God plans

Looking at the order in which the world was created, it is evident that a lot of thought was put into his work. The creator God didn’t command the light just to see if it was the right kind, nor did he try to create the sky before separating the waters above from the ones below. The story of creation tells us that God loves order and he created everything in its own place and in its own time. He had a purpose for everything he created. Everyone on this earth was (is) part of the plan.
Psalm 22:10, Jeremiah 1:5, Psalm 139:13, proverbs 3: 5-6


God works per excellence

One of the surest ways to ensure your work is going as scheduled is to monitor and then evaluate. This is certainly something God did according to the creation story. Every now and then, He paused to look at what he had done and it was always good. For one to achieve excellence, one must work according to a well mapped out plan, work at it to the best of his ability and then check to ensure the work is coming out as planned. It cannot be disputed that God did an excellent job in the creation of things, nothing was a mistake, and nothing was patched up because God was tired or out of materials.


God thinks long term (The beginning of Sustainable development?)

When God was creating the earth and all it holds, he didn’t just create the first plants, animals and Man. He also made provision for the next set of young plants, animals and Man. He did his work such that the things he created could continue to bear ‘fruits and multiply’ by themselves. His love for continuity can be seen in the plan that man was supposed to exist with him for eternity. This plan was however disrupted by man’s disobedience to God. God being God, he still found a way: he gave up his Son, Jesus Christ, to die so that man will not be lost but would have a chance to live with him forever.


He had a succession plan

After He created, God gave responsibility of the earth to man. He told man to be fruitful and multiply and gave him control over all. Of course there was a purpose: for man to care for the earth and not destroy it.

I am sure that there are many more lessons to learn from the creation story but the most important one for me is that 'man was created for a purpose'. The skills and abilities we possess were given to us to give glory to God and also demonstrate the love of God to others. If you are using the talents you've been given, God is being glorified in your life. If you are using it to touch the lives of others, then you are actually doing what God has called you to do.

PERFECT JANUARY… OR NOT

I wonder if people do things perfectly in January. I am guessing that it is the month where you have the most motivated people in the world and certainly the most hopeful. Who doesn't want everything right in the first month of the year? Especially after all the prosperity talk of the watch night services, the all-night prayers and candid resolutions made. All the positive vibes can be very catchy; you just want to break into dance from all the positive energy.  A new year certainly brings hope. We certainly do not want to ‘occupy’ anything in January 2013 or any other month of this year and I am praying that here in Nigeria and around the world, there are no natural disasters or man-made ones for that matter. Let’s lock it up in 2012 (I am starting to feel like a preacher. Preach it Sister). The end of something gives a kind of closure to it and the beginning gives a fresh start. It is always refreshing to start all over. If people were given the opportunity to start their entire life again, I am sure many would take it. I might.

Some people say ‘if you start well, you will end well’. If you have lived life as you should you would know that starting something is not an indication that you would finish it. The elements between the start and the finish connect the dots. The human elements include having a good justification for doing something, adequate planning, hard work  and smart work etc, and the spiritual element I know about (that works) is constant prayer (to God almighty). If you find any ‘baba’ or friend that tells you he can do something better, just go watch the really old Nollywood movies. They will inform you of all the possible ways a ‘baba’ can screw you up.

 If your year has not started well (even though day one is not over), do not fret. Just take it one day at a time. My slogan for this year is ‘No pain, No gain’.

I join everyone, with a hopeful heart, to wish you well beyond your imagination.

Happy New Year. 

GENESIS: THE STORY

I recently became fascinated by the book of Genesis; one of the five books of the Pentateuch. The book, which is sourced from the Yahwist and the Priestly source, gives an account of how the earth and all it contains was commanded into existence. Except for those who believe the evolution story and those who choose to believe in nothing, most are comfortable with this version of the creation story. The story is not 'scientific' yet every science finds its origin in God's spoken word. The artistry that God showed in the story is incomparable and almost unbelievable yet you see it everyday you look into a mirror or feel or smell. 

 I started a series on the genesis, the first of which is a summary of the story. The second focuses on the lessons from story with particular focus on God’s process of implementation. The third will focus on what God has been doing since creation and whether or not he moved on to another planet to do same kind of ‘installation’ and if he is indeed still working every day with us here on earth.

The Story 

Once upon a time, the earth as we know it was totally without form; there was no demarcation between the oceans and the heavens. Total darkness engulfed everything. The spirit of the Lord, the Holy Spirit, hovered over the waters. Then God, in his might and power spoke. No, he commanded, “let there be light!” And light appeared illuminating everything in its path. God knew what light was and how he wanted it to be. Before he created this light, surely a lot of thought would have gone into it. He must have had a plan; a master blue print of how everything should be.

When he was done, he saw that the light was good. He was pleased. First, we, humans, a creation he made after he had put certain things in place, have discovered that visible light has a wavelength of about 380 nanometres to about 740 nm with a speed of about 300,000km per second. Scientists like Galileo attempted to measure the speed of light for decades while others studied the behaviour of light and how to use light to make other things. All these things it took man years to achieve, the same things that God, in his infinite wisdom and intelligence commanded into existence in a sentence. Then God separated the light he created from the darkness that existed. He called the light “day” and the darkness “night”. 

Still everything was without form but illuminated. The second day, he created the sky; a dome which separates the water above from the water below. The same way he commanded the light to be so he did with the sky.

Then God commanded the waters to come together so that land, will appear. The waters he named sea. As it is his custom, he stepped back to appreciate his work and his critique was ‘perfect’. He commanded plants to grow. Botanists, have spent their lives discovering and studying plants and their uses. Plants have been known to heal, kill, nourish, provide shelter, protect, and so on. The creator God looked at the living plants and was pleased with what he saw. 

Knowing he had created the sky and light, he went further to create the light in the sky to separate the days from the nights and to show time and season and years. By calculations and years of hard work, man was able to mark the seasons and name them. Man was also able to prepare for planting and harvesting based on the seasons. Man also grew to control the environments in which plants are cultivated making them grow at all seasons. Then he created the two larger lights; the sun and moon.

When evening came, he probably thought about the things he would do next; the action plans on his master blue print. He thought about the animals he wanted to create for the waters; great monsters as well as the gentle creatures of the sea. He thought about their ecosystem and all the details that make a creature to be completely called animal in its existence.  Finally Morning came and God was up and about working again. Speaking his words and showed pleasure in all that he created.

After much labour, on the sixth day, God created man. He wanted man to be like ‘US’ he said.  He had plans for man: to have power over and care for all that he had created. He created man to be like himself, his image, which is different from all other creatures he created. He gave man substance, essence and purpose. He created Man and gave him charge. For the more dangerous animals, still under the care of man, God himself made provision for feeding them. For the birds, he also decided to take care of that himself; perhaps because of the nature of birds to move around without restraint and far out of man’s reach most of the time.

Finally, he looked back at all he had created from the beginning and saw that he had completed all the tasks he set out to do. His blue print became a reality and he rejoiced. He blessed the seventh day and set it apart as a special day.

From this article, you can deduce that there are a lot of lessons to learn about God and the way he did things during creation. Watch out for GENESIS: LESSONS FROM THE CREATION STORY

Building the good society in Nigeria: A vision at best

When we talk about buildings in Nigeria, it is hard not to remember structures that keep collapsing time and time again. I must say from research and listening to people who have been in the government for years that ‘building’ or implementing anything is not our forte. Its been said that we usually have very great policies but the well mapped out cookie crumbles as soon as it gets to the implementation phase.

We have all heard about stories of children who at the age of 3 play the piano so well or athletes who have been trained since childhood and excel with perfection at competitions. Now I wonder, perhaps parents have not done enough to teach their children how to build for others hence we do not have the culture or values associated with building ingrained in our makeup.  On the private level, some people excel in Nigeria. Of course not to the best of their abilities and within the limitations they have yet they still rise like Maya Angelou would say. People want to identify with them because they are successful and before you know it, they are thinking ‘Hey, I can run for Governor, President, you know? I have succeeded in running an empire.’

When you look at the people at the helms of affairs, it would do you good to also look at their credentials. Many of these people have excelled in their private lives but it’s a wonder they cannot translate that private success in public success. What then is missing? Is the society so cursed that it cannot get a road built to a worthy standard? We have people who have the technical and operational knowhow and we also have people who can direct processes to achieve great results.

My perception of missing element is that we do not have people – leaders as well as citizens - who have the fundamental values necessary to build up a good society.

                                        

No one can claim he hasn’t had a dream about something. He must have at least imagined life in better circumstances. I cannot make a statement as profound as every Nigerian having a vision for Nigeria because people hardly even have visions for their lives not to mention for their society at large; living from one day to the next, just existing and surviving. I judge not. But to move this nation forward, to move this nation from being a dilapidated building and renovating it by rebuilding, we need to have:           

•              Leaders who are groomed for the role of being a leader in Nigeria and not ‘accidental leaders’. Usain Bolt did not win his races by stumbling on the Olympics and deciding to give it a try. Sometimes, accidental leaders actually get it right, you only need to look at the Fasholas and Gowons of this world and you will see that although they never started out to fill these roles, when they did assume the roles, they took responsibility and made things happen. Let us reflect deeply on why they succeeded or still succeed. My take is they've got values.

•       Citizens with values. That is the missing element in our country. The actions of a person will definitely showcase his values. A leader who has strong values and lives by them is likely to achieve more success than a leader who makes up his values as the situations arise.  If a President has good intentions and is working hard to make sure things work, his success is largely dependent on his executives, ministers etc. If these people do not have values, forget it! A wise President is one who would select his team carefully, not based on political affiliations but on the ability to execute, strong work ethics, shared vision for the Nation and so on.

•       Capable leaders who do not spend their time insulting the every effort of the President and his team whether they are doing a bad job or not. People on the side lines are usually the people who criticize. Criticism is good if it is constructive but when it’s about insults and encouraging young people to ridicule the authorities that be…let’s just say, in the future, you do not want such people at the helms of affairs again whether they have succeeded in the past or not.

At this point, I am thinking that we need to train young minds, like al-Qaeda does train its young soldiers or suicide bombers, wiring and rewiring their minds to know what values are, coaching them to be leaders of thought and preparing them for life as we know it in Nigeria. Maybe then, we can learn to build a good society. As it is, all we can have of a good society is a vision at best. 

WHOM SHALL WE FEAR?

In the wake of the bomb blasts in the North and road accidents in the South, the crashing of the Dana Air craft still came as a shocking reality. Most Nigerians, of course with the exception of boko haram and their sponsors, have had their hearts constrict at the news of the bomb blasts. Then along came the dark clouds that gave us a black Sunday on the 3rd of June 2012. Hearts were broken I tell you. Broken hearts then turned to fiery stones ready to burn anyone affiliated to air travel.

The country has become a fierce inferno and with Asa, the funky musician, I can sing “there is fire on the mountain” but with a slight modification since the only few people running around are the families of the victims of the bomb blasts and crashes. The rest of the people are sighing, lamenting, cursing, avoiding, scampering – which reminds me of what the Holy bible says about those in hell. Nigeria – A hell on earth? The President and his people are apologising, visiting crash and bomb sites, firing top officials and hiring new ones, working on population control, listening to tapes in the House and getting vexed at Otedola and trying to see if Farouk is worth saving and praying as well.

For security sake, I wonder where we can hide in Nigeria. Almost all major roads are dangerous – filled with pot holes, cracks and devilish humans with the aim of robbing and killing. If you decide to go by train, where they exist, there is the possibility of the tracks being washed away by the rain as it currently happened along Ogun state. If you think about ferry rides, don’t forget to think about your will for you do not know when the tides will be high and toss everyone into the waters and thus you would become one of the statistics of the harsh realities of life in Nigeria. Wait a minute! The best route is to go through the air for those who can afford it. Don’t hold your breath too long; I can hear you thinking “what if something goes wrong with the plane? You never know.”

You run to the South because the North is hot with the passionate boko haram who managed to learn the western art of bomb making but hate western education. You run from the country’s capital because the bomb happenings are now at the very central Wuse II where you pass through sometimes. You run to Lagos? Because there are no bombs? Well, the rain is carrying people away, the traffic is reducing your quality of life, the water-logged streets are spoiling your vehicle and the stress is just too much.

Where will you find succour? You want a visa? To where? Little do you know that it is not exactly green on the other side. So you have decided that there is nowhere to go and you want to make a change in your Society? You start with cursing the president and mocking his cabinet? Let me remind you that all these things started way before Jonathan came into power. Go and ask Obasanjo or IBB, they will tell you. So you agree it’s a foundation problem. I agree also but what do you do? You call on a National Sovereign conference because you want out and you do not mind cutting off the boko haram-laden states. Have you thought about the consequences of such a conference? There is so much to fear. I can calm you down but please switch on the lights for I will read to you a passage from the book of Psalms…Shoot! There is no electricity.

WISDOM AND THE THEORY OF THE SIDELINES

Have you ever tried looking at a lady from a distance? If you are a man, the chances that you have is a hundred percent – the same goes for women also. The lady in question might be beautiful or maybe not, but you will surely have something to say about what you have observed. At the same time, you cannot be absolutely certain of what you have seen from a distance. Her blouse might be cream but the reflections of the street lights around her make it look like gold. Her hair might be purple but what you see is black. And if you make the mistake of drooling over what you think you are seeing, you are in for a shocker when you finally step up to her, if at all you do. And if you don’t, you walk away dreaming of the black hair goddess dressed in gold. That is a picture of being on the sideline. You do not get to have the facts. You only think you have it and your actions are then based on your false thinking.

Now, if indeed you walk up to the lady, you could easily see that she is beautiful, of course, this is subjective but to a large extent you can tell that she is easy on the eyes. You can also see her cream blouse. You might not see her purple hair if you are color blind, but you can mention that her black hair is lovely and she might giggle at you and say ‘silly, its purple.’ However the story goes, you have come closer, you have made a better assessment, asked questions but most importantly you have your facts right. Now, that is a wisdom that cannot be compared to the wisdom of the sideline.

It is very easy to stand on the sideline to comment. Ask the guy sitting glued to the television cursing a football player for making the wrong move. You can never enjoy such wisdom on the pitch if you are asked to play the game. Ask the President of Nigeria what it feels like to be in the pitch. Ask the person who gets the statement ‘if I were you, I would…’ every time he makes a decision that has an effect on others. Ask yourself also for you have been on the sideline and on the pitch at some time in your life.

My dictionary defines the sideline as a place for uninvolved people and the example it gave was that you can always get opinions on any subject from the sidelines. If you are not involved in anything then you can never be an authority on anything. Quit being a sideliner! Get on the pitch! We can definitely use more guys (referring to both sexes) on the pitch, playing the game, helping to make our dear country better.

Next time you decide to open your mouth to make a comment, critical or not, it is imperative that you have your facts right. This is even more important these days where most people are connected globally by the web and a mass reaction, calm or volatile, can be initiated within seconds of pinging or touching your mouse pad. You could destroy or you could create just by a click. When next you hear that a girl turned into a snake at the hotel in Warri, do not do as sideliners do – believe hearsay so much that they wanted to burn down the hotel. Instead, use wisdom in deciphering if it is possible to have a snake girl and if your senses tell you to probe further, by all means probe and probe till to you know for a fact that the information you have is right. At that point, you can say whatever you want and anyhow you want to.

Photo credit: http://www.film.com/tv/the-ten-best-tv-characters-according-to-hair#fbid=tgdKVJGgLTR

LESSONS LEARNED

At the end of every year, I usually take some time off to examine my life in the past ten to eleven months. There are a lot of great locations around the world where I wish I could get this done like beach resorts in the Bahamas, St Vincent and Grenadines, Brazil and even Obudu cattle ranch in my backyard. “One day,” I say to myself. Let me not get carried away looking at Forbes’ best beach resorts in the world. The reality is that I do not get to go on retreats so I just spend time in the quiet of my habitat, in the confinements of Crib de la Mine and reflect on how well I spent my life. I look at every aspect of my existence on earth; physical, emotional, spiritual and professional life. I tell you, it’s a long look. It was Socrates, the great Philosopher, who said that the unexamined life is a life not worth living. How true! Every person, project, company must review or evaluate how they have done. This is very vital to become better or to improve the way things are with your life, project or company. There is a popular phrase that says that if you do business as usual, you would get the same results. Therefore if you want to experience differences in your life or work, you have to examine your activities so that you can note down what to do differently next time. To constantly evaluate yourself is to open yourself to new possibilities, change and progress. At this point I say "TM" because I have never heard this saying anywhere, I am sure someone must have thought it, evaluated it but I have articulated it, so "TM".

The first thing I usually do is to recall the goals and resolutions I set at the beginning of the year. Over the years, I have seen the wisdom of SMART goals. At this point I give kudos to my teachers that taught me about making goals Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time bound. When I have done this, I try to write a list of all the activities that I carried out this year and then I start to match these activities with my goals to see how much I have accomplished in accordance with my set goals. A lot of times, I find out that there are some activities I engaged in that were not planned for but I list them as part of my accomplishments. There were also activities planned for that was not carried out. For these activities I either strike them out or carry them over to the following year depending on how high they fall on my priority list. When I have done this, it is also noteworthy to mention that it is expedient to go through the things that have been achieved and evaluate how well you excelled at each of them. Sometimes it is not enough to just say you did something. I have a magnet on my fridge that says, “Every morning, I exercise up and down, up and down and then the other eye lid.” You have to ask yourself, “Did I carry out my activities to the best of my ability? Did I use all resources at my disposal to produce the results that I got? It is then important to write out the things you did so well that you would want to repeat in the future and things you could have done better and differently. These are the things I refer to as the lessons learned. This process is usually bitter sweet. It can bring both happiness and disappointment in oneself but you must remember that there is always room for kaizen – continuous improvement.

I have not started this process of examination but sometimes you start to learn your lessons from day 1 of the year. The three biggest lessons I have learnt so far are: One, never JUDGE anyone. Judging, I can assure you, is a sweet task to do. You get to over-analyze another human’s behavior. If you like you could even go as far as to analyze why they act the way they do going back into the person’s past as if you were there. You become an unauthorized psychologist, an unpaid one for that matter. Of course I have stories and experiences to back this up and will share them another time. The second lesson I learned is the importance of being tolerant. I find that it is a virtue both necessary for my faith and my personal growth as an individual with a desire to establish good relationships with myself, women, men and organizations. The third of the lessons is the art of silence. Knowing when to speak and with whom to speak to are very crucial in all ramifications of life. Sometimes the person you deem wise enough to reveal your mind to at this minute might not be the person you need to bare your soul to at the next hour. Be Wise! I know we have been given the freedom of speech but we have to be very careful. It is just priceless to learn this art on your own as compared to being taught by life.

Finally, I will not hesitate to praise and reward myself for the good things I have accomplished this year. At this point, I encourage you to praise and reward me in tangible ways especially with the advent of Christmas which is a time to give and show love. I will also encourage myself to do better next year. I refuse to punish myself for things I have not done right because I am not perfect and I can only aspire to be better. When I have accomplished all this, I will certainly make concrete plans for the following year for he who fails to plan, plans to fail. At this point, I cannot say "TM" because Winston Churchill said this during the World War II and it is very much documented.

My Name Is................

I remember watching the movie ‘my name is Khan’ directed by Karan Johar and enjoyed it. The hero of the movie had a need to identify who he was so that he would not be judged or treated unfairly. ‘My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist.’ Rizvan Khan said over and over again. The movie struck a chord in my heart and made tears almost roll down my cheeks. I said to myself ‘what kind of situation would make me scream out or speak out ‘“My name is Yeside and I am not corrupt.” ’ How bad a situation that would be! How bad for those who experience such now! I am however lucky that I have an identity. Not just an identity, an Identity recognized by law.

I was at a meeting recently where they discussed birth registration. At first, I asked myself what good the meeting will be. As I sat glued to the chair, the speaker, a representative of the chairman of the National population commission, discussed the importance of civil registration and its benefits. Of all he said, what struck me the most was that a person whose birth is not registered in Nigeria does not exist. To not exist means not to be alive. Visualize yourself standing in the midst of a crowd. Everyone is walking around you. There is no friendly face in sight and no one gazes at you. You enter a shop to pick up a snack and you shout ‘hello, can I have a doughnut?’ but no one responds. They talk as if you are not there. That is because you are not there. Your voice cannot be heard, you simply do not exist.

In 2010, it was estimated that there would be about 5 million births in Nigeria and at the end of the year records showed that only about 1, 050, 604 births were registered. What happened to the rest of the 4 million children born? Not quite existing? Research has shown that children who are unregistered are often children whose parents are displaced due to war or civil conflicts, children from localities where there is low awareness of birth registration, especially rural and remote communities, as well children born in very poor families, orphans or children whose parents have separated, divorced or widowed and children of single mothers/teenage mothers/out of school girls children born by abused or sexually exploited girls and women. Do not say to yourself ‘But I talk to people, I buy drugs, I can buy food because I speak and can be heard and no one would ask for a birth certificate before any transaction. Besides, what good will a birth certificate do for you?’

We are all created by God, we all do exist but LEGALLY anyone whose birth is not registered does not exist. He or she is not eligible for healthcare, admission into school, voting, obtaining a passport, employment, etc. If such a person is trafficked for the purpose of labor or prostitution, that individual cannot be defended legally because his/her identity is in question. Would they be able to say that you are a Nigerian? You could pass as someone from Niger or Cote d’ Ivore or Ghana. You would not be identified by your tribal marks or your gapped teeth neither can you say you are a Nigerian because you speak Hausa, Yoruba, Igbo, Gbagyi, Gwari. The benefits of vital registration are many and should not be undermined. Encourage your friends, co-workers, helpers, labourers, every one you know, to register their children and get themselves registered.

Birth registration is a permanent and official record of a child’s existence. It is the first step towards recognizing a child’s inalienable right as a human being. Rizvan Khan, though he had Asperger’s syndrome, knew who he was and what he stood for. Like him, I can proudly say that my name is Yeside and I am a Nigerian. If you have any doubts about this, please take a short trip to Ebute Metta and check the records there.

QUOTA COUNTER!!!

Nigerians worked hard to ensure that their votes counted in the recently concluded elections. This goes to show that as a people, we can achieve greatness if we set our minds to it and if we have the right push factors working for us. Building a nation has never been an easy task. You only need to read from history to understand that Rome was not built in a day. Our Nation, Nigeria, needs more than building. You can compare it to a ‘Molue’ that has its lights blown and the belly close to the ground groaning as it tries to climb hills. It needs new body parts, repairs and maintenance. Or better still liken it to a lover who has been badly beaten and wounded. She needs to get out of a bad relationship, get healed of her wounds and start making choices that would only bring her good.

To achieve the great Nation that Nigeria deserves to be, all hands have to be on deck. We cannot elect a president and governors and expect them to do everything. The power belongs to the people (not in the PDP kind of way). It is essential to note that with Power also comes responsibility. As a people, everything we do or not do has implications on our society.
Recently, we celebrated the workers day and an important point to reflect on is ‘What are you contributing to make Nigeria a better place?’ We should learn to see Nigeria as our own and not the governments or the minorities who dictate what happens. When you own something, you care for it.

WORK
Our work should be a vocation and not just a job. A vocation is a calling. You should derive pleasure doing what you do. By finding happiness in what you do, you give it everything you have. It was Martin Luther King, Jnr that said “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.” Unfortunately, a lot of people have a misplaced sense of what work should be. Our work should be more than just the income it brings and the bills it pays. We spend ¾ of our lives doing our work. If we spend that amount of time doing jobs we hate, we would have a lot to regret at the end. It would be a sad thing to have a lot to regret when we should be celebrating fulfilled lives. Your work should be something you do quite well and with gusto, it does not have to be high paying – a lot of things in life are more important than money. If you ask a younger person, they would disagree but when you speak to elderly people who have gone through life they will assure you that money is not the source of happiness or fulfillment. Everyone who does his work to the best of his ability contributes his quota to building Nigeria.

DIGNITY IN LABOUR
Farmers are people who feed the world, yet Farming is a profession that a lot of people avoid. Nannies are people who bring up children in our society yet they are treated shabbily and with disdain sometimes. These are people who contribute their quota to developing our nation. There are a lot of other occupations that are deemed as non-dignifying, but go a long way to make life better for Nigerians. We need to change our attitudes and start appreciating these people who do ‘odd jobs’. For instance, the street sweeper who does a shabby job, sweeps refuse into the drainage instead of packing it into the garbage truck for disposal at the dunghills. This action would lead to blocking of the drainage, breeding of mosquitoes that cause malaria, contribute to degradation of the roads, cause traffic and hence reduce the productivity of the workforce. Such a sweeper has contributed to damaging the Nation instead of building. We need to take the time to understand the consequences of not doing our work well so that we can renew our minds.

REWARDS
The words from proverbs read “See a man diligent in his duties? He shall stand before kings and not before mean men.” Working hard and working smart is essential for being successful at what you do. Sometimes, even when we have work that we feel great doing, the social vices such as corruption, indiscipline make it hard to achieve much. This leaves a bitter taste in our mouths and brings us to the crossroads: fight and face the consequences or join in if you cannot beat the system. I encourage you to dare to be courageous. If we want to achieve greatness, like the wounded lover, we have to step out of a bad relationship, get healed and start making good choices – no matter how painful they are or the magnitude of sacrifices we have to make.

The last admonition I have is that as a country we need to have faith, not the kind that keeps us on our knees and lays our responsibility on God but faith that would spur us on to action, lead us to the taps of courage and like the bearded Moses of old, bring us to points where we can divide the daunting Seas because anything is possible if we just believe.

CHANGE HAS COME!!!

My Fellow Nigerians, TODAY we shall cast our votes for the man who we think is the most acceptable of the lot. A lot of messages and emails have circulated like wild fire casting doubts in our minds about each of the 'most likely to win' candidates. We have deliberated on who will be the candidate that would, like in the cartoon Superted, sprinkle some cosmic dust and bring Nigeria back to ‘life’. Would it be the General, the lecturer or the policeman?

Most Nigerians are tired of the ‘one-party’ system we have had and hope that perhaps someone from another party will bring the change we so desperately desire. I have this to say: Change has already come. Nigerians have woken up from their slumber, perhaps still drowsy but eyes have been opened. We are holding on to our rights and casting our votes. Of course there is the doubt that creeps into our minds that our votes would not count but people are rising up against all odds to cast their votes. If you don’t call it change, give it a name then.

Change for us will be gradual. We may not succeed in changing the system this time around but we have started changing ourselves. The saying that change must first come from within before it spreads is quite true. We are gradually dropping our laidback attitude. Everyone is talking, arguing, fighting about who should be voted for but most importantly we are making choices. The days when we would just fold our hands and say ‘shout from morning till night, the leaders will embezzle and there is nothing we can do about it’ is receding to the past gradually. Change does not necessarily have to begin from the top, it can start with us and so it has.

When we finally get a president (i am beginning to think that a lecturer, general or policeman would not matter because the people are getting stronger but prove me wrong) from this credible election (hopefully credible),we will not just sit back and let him do as he pleases. We will speak out more through every channel we have and demand that we are treated right. My great Nigerians, change has comes to us, albeit slowly, but it surely is here.

Poker Face!

‘Extra! Extra! Elections are coming!’ I hear a newspaper man singing in my imagination ‘Our fates would be decided soon! Read all about it!’ Different people have asked me over a period of time who I would vote for. ‘Buhari, Ribadu, or GEJ?’ they would ask and I just look blankly at them. The simple reason for my impassive stance is that I am very much dissatisfied with the state of things as many youths are. Notwithstanding we all still have to make a choice. Now, to make an informed choice, you have to know what your problem is or what you want and then list out all the options available to you (and not to America). You can then match your list of available options to your want list and see which of the options best meet your desires. This process reminds of a system a friend of mine proposed to me for choosing a husband. She asked me to list everything I want in husband from most crucial to the most trivial characteristic. The next step was to take my list to God in prayer and then compare with what I had available. It was an interesting exercise. So now I sit wondering what I really want in a leader. I am not thinking about whether I can manage what is available or whether I have no options really but about the true shepherd I want leading us in this country.

So, in my fantasy I am thinking that I want a leader who has a vision for Nigeria. Not Obasanjo’s vision or something that looks like an afterthought but his own well-thought out and pruned vision, a vision that we all can share as a people. I want a man who sees the blue prints and knows every blue line in the white background because he penned it down. I want a man (or woman in the nearest future) whose mind is attuned to a life of service who will put the people first instead of spending most of his time lining his pockets with gold, gold that reeks of blood and sufferings of the people of the delta. I shall name him ‘Esperanza’ which means hope in Spanish.
Esperanza is a person of almost flawless character. His charisma puts the likes of Bill Clinton and Obama at the back of the class. He never shies away from Public debates and when he steps up to the podium to defend what he has to offer, he would make us weep with joy. Esperanza is courageous and would defend the truth at any cost. He has a penchant for being focused on things that make the country better instead of wasting time defending his position and crushing unwanted enemies. He understands the eccentricity of the Nigerian situation; he has a true grasp of what it takes to lead a country with over 150 million people with diverse cultures and religion and will treat all with equity and equality. He can adapt to situations, he is compassionate as well as tough in the battle. Esperanza would not succumb to the whims of god-fatherism nor run about lining the pockets of his aides and fellow comrades so that he can stay in power or so that his wrong-doings would not be exposed. He would certainly not publicly or privately praise evil doers or prison convicts and would not be seen as weak. He went to school to study the art of diplomacy and has respect for God.

Esperanza is the man who will choose his team wisely because of what they can offer the country and not because it’s a party code thing. That is the man that would make me smile every time his name is called because he knows how to ‘flip the lid’ of my country. Need I mention that integrity, hard work, wisdom are amongst his core values.

We have never experienced his rule before. If we had, we would have held on to him. Power failure, bad roads, poor educational system, corruption would have been a thing of the past, ‘Abi?’ I say to myself. We would have a productive workforce in a system where the environment is enabled. Young kids, when asked what good governance is, would say ‘What President Esperanza is doing is defined as good governance.’
Now that I have done this, I will compare with what is available and pick one. What more can I say? When the day of election comes, I will walk to the polling boot with my poker face, I will show neither exasperation nor frustration and I will ‘press my hand’. You can do the same if you so desire.

The Courage to Dare

Recently, I have found myself repeating words of the Serenity prayer over and over again. ‘Dear lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference.’ Do I dare to be courageous about anything? Am I prepared for the consequences that could arise as a result of my attempt to do things in the right way? Do I realise that in facing the consequences I would most likely be standing alone in my ‘truth’? Or would I cower with weakness at the first sight of unimagined catastrophe as a result of my ‘good action’?

Sometime ago, I sat among a gathering of friends to discuss making a change in our lives and in our dear country and these where the questions that hit me and it felt like a stray smelly paper flying about the street landing on my face. Did I hear you say ‘Ewww!’ I am trying to answer these questions now and so should you. Anyone who wishes to do what is right must have courage to dare and face the consequences. The process of change is almost never a sweet one. Its demands are great.

The recent registration of vote for the upcoming elections made me more retrospective about the topic. I was appalled to notice that some Nigerians were trying to bribe the police officers and the defence team to help them get ahead of the long queue in other to register on time. Granted that the process was tedious and time consuming, it was the first step in ensuring that we could ‘do a right’ by voting (whether our votes will count is a different matter). These officers were there to maintain order; it was easier controlling kids than controlling people eligible to vote. During the process of my registration, when I was almost at the ‘promise land’, a defence corp member brought someone and fixed her right in my front. This person was way bigger and mouthy and I feared what would happen if I challenged them but I remembered the saying ‘Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.’ So I stood my grounds and rejected vehemently the defence corp and his ‘evil’ plan. Amidst the fracas, I managed to stay in my rightful position and completed my registration. Once satisfied with my voter’s card, I looked at the defence corp member and said ‘I followed the due process.’ I left with a great feeling in my heart. But perhaps, it could have gone wrongly, the Defence team could have knocked me about and thrown me out of the line saying I was obstructing progress. The cheating person could have pushed me on the floor for daring to show the corruption that was taking root while we were registering to vote democratically in other to end corruption. It could all have ended badly and I would have faced some consequences for trying to oppose their wrong doing, but good Nigerians who were on the queue also supported the right thing.

I thought about the fact that we all have to display courage in every aspect of our lives, at work, home, church, streets, markets etc and we may not necessarily be vindicated. I thought about more grave instances where people have lost their lives for trying to demand justice and fairness, ending corruption and promoting goodness. I remember Tunisia and Egypt, their fights towards a better life. Victory will come when we step out in faith to defend a good cause.

We all want Nigeria to be a better place but what steps are we taking to achieve this. Are we going to keep talking about the right thing but never demanding and fighting for it? Are you going to stand in the market were you sell or the office were you work and demand progress, transparency and justice? My prayer is that we all have the courage to dare to do what is right at all times for the good of our souls and our world.

...And Life Continues

I am sitting and looking towards the 365 days ahead of me. I really do not know if it would be a complete 365 but I am hoping that God in his goodness would spare my life. It is a miracle that I am alive, hale and hearty and I am most grateful to God for all his mercies.

Looking backward at 2010, there is a lot I have to be thankful for and I am sure that you must be thankful for something. I am immensely thankful for life, family and friends for they gave me strength and love. I am grateful for successes and promotions, these gave me something to climb on and work harder. The failures and setbacks made me stronger and tasked my faith. Now that I look back, I see that I had so much to be grateful for and I humbly ask my Creator to forgive me for all the times I complained, pulled myself down, allowed people to pull me down or pulled others down and I am counting on his abundant grace to double my blessings in this new year.

When I think about the New Year, I really do not know what to expect for Nigeria. I can only hope that the power situation would improve, the roads would be better, the hospitals would be well equipped especially to handle emergencies, and the list goes on and on. Most importantly, I earnestly pray that the elections would be peaceful and selfless leaders would be elected. I am old enough to know that there is gap between hoping and achieving so I pray to God almighty to help each Nigerian make good decisions concerning our future. I am praying to the excellent King to make our votes count during the election. I ask that we get strength to withstand opposition and pull them down. I am praying that the elected leaders would excel in their good works of justice and equity. They will rule with justice and grace.

It would be foolhardy to think that difficult times will not come, but I am praying that God will give each and every Nigerian the strength to fight for unity,truth and peace. I say that we should look to the future, not with uncertainty but with boldness because we are not on our own. I place Nigeria in the hands of the Creator of the Universe to help us.

For myself, I ask for wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Most importantly, I ask for a grateful, selfless heart that will help me to reach out and touch others.
I wish you all a great year that is as fruitful as the trees in the Garden of Eden and peaceful as the pleasant white dove. Shalom!

Inordinate Ethnic Loyalty

It is not uncommon to find someone refer to a member of his village, town or state as ‘my brother’. In fact, most people would applaud his efforts to stay connected to his roots and call him ‘son of the soil’ especially in our modern day society that jumps at every effort to adopt any western culture possible. It feels very good to be able to put your ‘brothers’ first before considering others. When a newly engaged-to-be married person tells of his/her new status, we all jump for joy and start with the following questions ‘so, where is he from? What does he do?’ and if per chance the spouse to be happens not to be from the person’s tribe, some people would exclaim ‘are you serious? And your parents had no objections?’ While growing up, I heard mothers tell their daughters ‘don’t bring a Yoruba man to my house’ or ‘find someone from your own tribe, i will not be in your house when the husband’s people will maltreat you.’ These daughters grow up conditioning their minds to the fact that an Ibo man, or Hausa Mallam is not good for them because of the differences in ethnic values or just because their mothers or fathers said so and if fate plays a good number and they marry from their tribe, they in turn tell their own daughters ‘please dear, Kwara people are very fetish, choose wisely.’

While some children who are well informed and exposed to different culture soon realise that there isn’t much difference between us all, the segregation follows others through generations. Not just in marriage, but in work places, political settings and even religion.
The question is ‘how then do we fight ethnic crisis when down at the roots we place ourselves higher or in more favourable positions than others?’ When are we going to learn from the people of Rwanda that these inordinate ethnic loyalties can lead to full blown massacres and unspoken evils?

Recently, I took my first trip to the eastern part of Nigeria. From the beginning of the journey, I studied the people with whom I was travelling. Apart from the fact that they all spoke Igbo and I appeared deaf and scared, they displayed the same gentility, haughtiness, loquaciousness and introversion that i would see in people of my tribe. All their actions and temperaments were defined by who they were as individuals, values they learnt from their upbringing and not what tribe they came from. I spent a short time with a wonderful Ibo family and did not for once fear for anything. An Ibo woman I spoke to on the bus called me at every point to ensure I had reached my destinations safely and she very well knew I was not from her tribe or even a nearby tribe.

Our dear Nigeria is at a critical stage and in desperate need of competent men and women irrespective of tribe or state from any part of Nigeria who are ready to push unto victory. We need to have leaders we can trust who will lead with fairness and justice in managing the affairs of the country. It is time for us to be more conscious of our thoughts and actions. We need to stop making comments like ‘if you see an Mbaise man and a snake coming towards you, make sure you kill the Mbaise man first before killing the snake.’ We must be willing to trust one another to maximize brotherhood and interdependence with each other.

I am a Nigerian and want to be identified as such irrespective of the tribe I come from. I want to be able to live freely in any state of this country and not be ruffled by thoughts of ethnic crisis and religious wars and I hope that you do too.

Addicted!!!

I find my self always glued to the Stephanie Meyer’s Vampire novel series: twilight, new moon, eclipse and breaking dawn. I read the books over and over again sucking pleasure out of the words on the pages. As if I would find something new. I am thrilled by the way Edward and Bella are drawn to each other. I wonder if love can exist that way, totally open, trusting and overwhelming. Their kisses are like a ritual consisting of sucking out souls and replacing them with each others breath as if saying to each other ‘your life is mine and mine is yours’. It shows a deeper display of love that is rarely seen in reality.

Edward described Bella as his own personal brand of heroine. I ask myself every time I read them if I would ever find myself addicted to anything or anyone so much that I could put my life at stake. Perhaps I would get to that point someday, perhaps not. In the same way I cannot but wonder how people can be so attached to their country that they would die for it. I look at my country on the map of the world and I have a natural desire to smile every I see it. It seems to me that it’s the shapeliest outline in the entire map, even better than that of Africa. Perhaps I think it is so out of bias for my country. I look at the people in the map and I cannot say I do not love them. Every time stones are cast at my people, my country, I feel a sharp pain in my heart and emotions run like a tap of cold water gushing on an unsuspecting puppy. Yet still, I cannot say that I would be ready to die for my country if the need arises. I wish though that I could be ready to do so for the sake of my children yet to come and my children’s children. I say this because unless we start to die for dearly beloved country, nothing will get better. It seems to me that she seeks blood to cry ‘Enough! Enough!’ before anything changes, before anything can get better. She needs her children to be drawn to her like Edward is to Bella. She needs you and me to kiss her with soulful breaths so she can live again. She needs us to treat her with care and respect putting her first in everything so that she does not fade away into non-existence. She needs us to free her from the evil hands of fake lovers sucking the life out of her in the name of service to her people.
I wish I could see ahead like Alice, the pretty petite vampire with spiky hair. I would stop from my chattering to say ‘The wind of change is coming.’ And smile with relief.
This I know: Soon! The wind will change for better or for worse. Those who can love till death should better brace their hearts and pour out all their love on their beloved country whilst they can maybe their actions will bring healing to the land.

GHOST OF VALENTINE PRESENT

I looked into my wardrobe this morning and I made a few notes. There are things that should be in there staring at me in the face, making me grin like the cat that got the cream or the mouse that ate the chef’s Caciocavallo cheese. And there are things that are in there that should be replaced like my little black dress that I have worn so often that I could easily be described as ‘the pretty lady that often wears the short black sleeveless dress that hugs her bum nicely and has one big black button that rests a little above her right chest.’ etcetera. After my wardrobe scrutiny, I went on to my dressing table and I was not pleased at what I saw. My bottle of cherished perfume, the one that makes me feel like a well looked-upon Mona Lisa, just lies on the dresser almost empty. I sighed and glanced at my shoe rack. Let me not divulge the state of my shoes. The only words that come to mind about my shoes are ‘yuck! Yuck! Yuck!’ A good red would brighten up that department though.

I ask myself, what can I do to change my situation? I experience neglect all of a sudden. Can’t I have someone to pamper me more than the usual? A real McCoy to make me feel like the queen of Sheba. My cousin calls me just at that time ‘Hey Coz, what is happening this valentine’s day?’

Yes! Valentine’s day! In time past, I would have made sure that I was in the good books of many to ensure that my gifts show up as scheduled but these days I keep my head straight. As I sit I remember my chocolate days and I ask myself ‘were they trying to make me fat and insecure so that they can move on to other girls?’ A ridiculous thought because chocolates make excellent valentine gifts albeit every lady wants something they can hold on to and not something that would end up in the famous pathway for human waste – the toilet bowl. Of course dark chocolates are great for the heart, so the doctors say but give me a bottle of scented water or alcohol and I would remember you for as long as I smell great and even beyond because I would forever remember that I had once used that particular fragrance.

I look forward to an upgrade when I would receive gifts of immeasurable wealth. Gifts that would make eyeballs come out of their sockets, turn enemies army green with envy and make friends utter words such as ‘you know, what is mine is yours, what is yours is mine.’ Sigh! Dreams do come true and as the saying goes ‘anything can happen if you just believe.’ Laugh! Enough day dreaming!

Of all the gifts one can receive on Valentine’s day, the one most valuable, most cherished and priceless is the gift of the three letter words, I- love- you, whispered to you from the lips of the one who makes your heart go ‘gbingbin.’ The magic words would do for you what a Stuart Weitzman’s strappy sandals cannot do although some would disagree with me.

Chocolate or perfume, dress or shoe, I am content to say that I love. I love without the trappings of worldly goods; although I want them so. I love those in my care and those who care for me. I love my family and friends and all those who make my heart flip just by hearing their voices and I say to all ‘I wish you a happy day of love and friendship and goodwill.’ I hope that we all get what we are looking for this Valentine’s Day and give to those who hope for something for there is great joy in giving.
Happy Valentine’s Day.

My! My! what a year!

The year 2009 was very eventful – at least for me. When I woke up on that first day of January, I did with a dream to change Nigeria, a passion to help change our mental models, world views or whatever you want to call it. I told myself that I could do this. This was not my resolution for the year; it was more like a calling I called myself to. Truth be told, I abandoned the cause before you can say Smokey Robinson because I realised that to change the world one has to change herself first and I really had to practice what I was preaching. So I made myself my personal project for the year and believe me when I say that it was not an easy project. The consequences of some action I took however yielded results, rewarding results and I am better for it, Nigeria is better for it. I remember when I decided to give fitness a chance in my life. I felt so invigorated in those months. I would jog in the wee hours of the morning and finish up with crunches and other things that might or might not be called exercise such as dancing. At that time I was encouraging people to increase their physical activity so it was necessary for me to practice what I was preaching. However I had to stop the jogging because security was an issue. It is hard to move about early in the morning when you do not know if the person walking fast behind you is set to harm you.

I worked hard in 2009 and achieved some things. If I had worked harder, I would have achieved more with the help of God. Where I did not achieve what I sought after I did not give up, just postponed them till a more convenient time. Call it procrastination if you like. It was also a year I threw caution to the wind...do not let your minds run too far, all I did was let go of myself so that I could achieve more albeit I didn’t perform too well in that task, I tried.

I met people this year, great and small alike. I brainstormed, dined and laughed and worked with some while I cussed out a few (don’t ask me questions but I did regret some of the things I said). For those I truly hurt for some abstruse reason, or cut out their hearts from their chest when they didn’t deserve it, I am truly sorry. Of course I did some things that should not be mentioned for the sake of my sanity and yours but I have learnt considerable from them. All in all, I am a better spirit, better human, better friend, sister, better everything than I was at the beginning of the year and I give glory to God who helped me in the construction.

I must admit that I am not too excited about 2010 for the much known reason that the country has cancerous growth all over her body and there is not even palliative care in place for her. It does not take a prophet of doom to prophecy that things will be tough but we have God, we have hope and we will work hard to make it a successful year.

To all of you out there, I do not know how your year went but I figure, good or bad, we shall have a better chance to start afresh. I wish you all the things that I wish myself and they are God’s divine favour, blessings, protection and guidance. I wish you success in all your endeavours and progress in all your undertakings. I also wish that you have zeal to work towards a better Nigeria. Finally, I wish you all a very Happy New Year.
Yeside Pikuda